when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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