I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
