Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
