I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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