you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
