hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
