I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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