just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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