I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
