She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
