Small penises have feelings too.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my poor anus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
