Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
