Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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