JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
