Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
