Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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