Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
