Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
