on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
