Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do vagina's smell?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize