i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
