Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
