she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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