I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
