i think my tv is drunk
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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