I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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