Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
