I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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