yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
