i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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