Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
