Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
