I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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