i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
