Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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