so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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