Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
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