We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
