It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
