need another drink. this is the easiest way
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize