Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tornado booty call.. dedication
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
