i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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