I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
