You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
