David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He? As in you personified your dick?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
