See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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