so explain again why im purple
no
I smell stomach acid.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
