You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
3 2 1 whiskey
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
