I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
