Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
