Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize