Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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