I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
