He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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