I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
