I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just invented taco cereal.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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