New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
