hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
