I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
