i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
