Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
