I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
