I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
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