there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
