Everything about him screamed your future.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Two words: blizzard sex
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
