He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
