i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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