Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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